Train travel.....

Was using the Public Transport system in Chennai after a really long time. I took the train from Mambalam to Tambaram. I used the bus more often than the train..but have had a fair share of train travel when I was younger. I had no newspaper...nothing to read..and no calls on my cellphone.
So I did what struck me as the best time pass activity...observing people..:)
And I had a jolly good time doing that!

The ones that you notice first are the late-boarders or LIFO's( Last in first out)
Usually dressed in very tight bell bottomed pants and try to get as much of their body outside the train as possible. They comb their hair every 5 minutes only for it to get tousled in 5 seconds..and the vicious circle goes on. I guess most of them are wannabe athletes. They usually compete with the train once it leaves the station, give it a headstart of 5 secs. An age-old tactic of impressing the girls....but hey who's looking ?

Another common feature in the trains are the public activists. Whenever someone has a problem..be it a "dont push me outta my seat" or "Why are you ogling at me?" or "I got here first", before you can even blink...our hero is there. Tries to mediate and often ends up making matters even worse - The Vijaykanth of the trains!

And there are the the usual suspects - seat grabbers and LOUD-speakers .

The magazine freak - Reads either Kumudham or Anandha Vigadan. Spends a lot of time looking at pictures of fat women in tight and minimal clothing. Usually has Mr.Askance for company. For those who havent done word lists previously....Mr.Askance is a miser who doesnt pay for his own magazine but loves to peep into his neighbour's (usually when the photo pages come by).

Mr.Nothing is right in this train is also a common feature in most trains. They usually start complaining given the tiniest hint of an oppurtunity. Be it loud, lousy youngsters or fans that dont work or the Chennai heat...off they go! Usually 2-3 people around listen for the first few minutes and then get back to their work. But our man never gets the hint. He never stops. A real fighter.

The man with the vethala paak and the red naak - Usually spotted in pairs or groups. Take out their Vethala pottis just before the station master waves his green flag and continue chewing till they get out of the train....sometimes the loud speakers can also be part of this gang.
BEWARE: Watch it when they spit because you might get hit with lotsa shit.

And bringing up the rear, my personal favourite...The swaying sleeper. Give him 5 mins and he can doze off into slumberland. Always sways from side to side...jerks when he reaches the "Stop or you'll fall" threshhold. Eyes flicker open for a brief instant....Everything seems ok! Off I go again.....Routine repeats itself every now and then.The funniest of the lot. They stand testimony to the power of the sub-conscious mind...knows when the threshhold is about to come by.

I got off the train with a heavy heart when my station arrived, thinking "When am I going to travel by train again ?"
- End of story -

Wow...that easily beats the record for my longest post by a mile :)
Cheers!